Disappointment

I should really get used to disappointment. Its something that I should know by now other than the depression. But I need to get used to this I guess. Just try and put on a smile and be happy when I can't. Thats why my thoughts lead me in places that they probably shouldn't go. But thats just me. I just need to get some of this stuff off my chest. Its so hard not being able to express stuff and things and its just ridiculous some of the stuff that happens here and stuff I can't get cause of fucking money. you know what I'm to the point I don't care any more about anything other than Josh and I. I had a hard life with my mom and now its still hard but its better here but I'm just more depressed....
Whatever.... Byes

FINALLY!!!

Well I am finally out of my moms house. It was a bunch of bull the stuff she said about me to my best friend. But then my mom turned her back on my best friend because she 'lied' to her instead of going to band practice with her husband and came over to my house. But things have been pretty good. I am going to start going to see my best friend more and have her come over and I go over to her house, but things have been kind of crazy so I haven't had her over or went over there so hopefully soon we can start doing that and things together again. My mom is pretty pissed at me for moving out but I don't care what she thinks any more because I'm with my sister now. And I am so much happier; even though I get depressed at points I am a lot happier. I get to spend the night at peoples houses and have people spend the night here. And I also get to see my fiance more and more all the time now. And I get to have him spend the night and I can spend the night at his house, like tomorrow I am going to Universal and Islands of Adventure with him and his mom and then I am going to spend the night. Because his mom has a biopsy in the morning (she thinks that she might have thyroid cancer) and then my best friend, her husband, Josh, Me, and Josh's mom are going to Blue Springs. I have never been and never has my bff. But I think that I am going to stop blabbing about everything and get a shower and get stuff together for tomorrow. Also I hope that I can start blogging more even though like noone follows me but thats okay it lets me get my venting and other things out and lets me express myself. :) Also Josh got me a laptop cord so now I can get back online :D.. Ok before I start telling my life story and other stuff or start rambling more than what I already am. SHOWER TIME BYEZ :x..